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• Who Schedules These Things?

  Nov 8, 2010 CATEGORIES: Alabama, Florida, Mississippi State, SEC, South Carolina

  The second weekend in November means blood pressures are high, breaths are being held and many a dreams are being shattered. It also lends itself to upsets, surprises and clearly, fogging of TV scheduler’s logic.

  With five SEC teams in the top 25 it’s apparent that the “TV Scheduler” has it out for the SEC. Or, at best, is a Little 12 or Big 10 fan. Does the omnipotent TV Scheduler not realize that SEC fans do not discriminate and we watch ALL SEC games? Especially this late into the season?

  Here are two clues to why I am peeved by the TV Scheduler’s inconsiderate, almost basketball -loving, decisions:

  1) No.19 Mississippi State plays at No. 12 Alabama at 7:15 ET.

  This is going to be a tremendous battle of will and guts. Alabama coming off a loss to LSU will either have them down trodden and mentally out of the game or will have them fired up beyond reproach. Mississippi State will be attempting, for the first time in a long time (possibly ever), to stay in the Top 25 for the better part of their season.

  Dan Mullen has his boys convinced to kill anything that steps in their way of a bowl game appearance. An amazing game to watch if Mississippi St steps up to the plate and doesn’t get intimidated by the pom-pom-shakers in Tuscaloosa.

  2) No.23 South Carolina plays at No. 22 Florida at 7:15 ET.

  Sure, this one is a battle for a spot in the Top 25 or a chance to play in the SEC Championship, but it’s much more than that alone. Steve Spurrier now lives in Columbia, South Carolina and wears a Gamecocks visor. Just ten short years ago, The Ole Ball Coach was sporting Florida Orange and Blue in Gainesville.

  Basically, Spurrier is responsible for putting both football programs on the map. While he won his Heisman Trophy as a player at UF and won his first and so far only National Championship as a coach at Florida, he now has to handily beat Florida to take his new love of his life, the Cocks, to Atlanta.

  So yes, you could say I’m rather peeved. I’ll be at the UGA v Auburn game at Auburn (3:30 ET) so I’ll be happy, but so much is riding on these two games that it’s impossible not to be concerned with every play of both gridiron match up.

  While Mr. or Ms. TV Scheduler has made it challenging on us SEC fans to bear witness to all of the SEC glory and defeat that will ensue on Saturday, basically placing a low obstacle in between us and our reason for living, we’ll survive. We’ll find a way to see it all. And in the end, we will still have more teams in the top 25 than any other conference.

  What’s that cheer that everyone envies us for? S-E-C? Yes, that’s the one….

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• Two words: Emotional Phenomenon

  Oct 15, 2010 CATEGORIES: Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, LSU, Mississippi State, Ole Miss, SEC, South Carolina, Vanderbilt

  Thanks to my new Alabama friend, Warren, the Emotional Phenomenon of the SEC has been brought to my attention.

  An emotional phenomenon occurs when all common sense flies out the window and emotions allow individuals and entire fandoms to act illogically.  Ie: Florida fans cheering vehemently for a Gamecocks victory over Alabama.

  Florida fans, naturally still grieving their castration from Alabama the previous week, were grieved stricken. Severely. We call this post stress disorder; Warren calls it an Emotional Phenomenon.

  To avoid falling victim to the foolish spectacle of the Emotional Phenomenon, read about your team below to see who you should and should NOT be cheering for this weekend.

  Vandy (SAT scores don’t count) at Georgia

  Vandy Fan: You likely thinking this a chance to secure an SEC win. The dawgs from Athens aren’t exactly putting up an aggressive fight this season. You are cheering for the Vols to lose out. Which, might not require too much effort on your part. But don’t worry, if you took a big study break and headed to Athens at least you’ll learn how to tailgate and show school spirit.

  Georgia Fan: Bring on the protein enriched kibbles and bits, this is your big chance to take down the lone private school team in the league AND make it look like Coach Richt should keep his job. Which, may not make you smarter, but it should help your ranks.

  Cheer for Old Rocky Top to win out. Yikes.

  Arkansas(12) v Auburn (7)

  Auburn Fan: You are hoping that the Tigers seal the deal early and that Cam can keep up his half-season-long-endurance of carrying most of the team. But, you’re actually a bit nervous because Arkansas gave those other Alabama kids a good run for their money. Alas, you’re not just farm and agg kids, you can beat Arkansas and BAMA any day, right? Auburn’s been scraping by—cross your fingers, wear your lucky underwear, follow every superstition. You’re cheering for someone to win at the UK v USC game… you’ve beaten both, it doesn’t matter. And, of course, you’re always cheering for a BAMA loss.

  Arkansas Fan: You’re ready for revenge against anyone playing football in the state of Alabama AND you know this is your best ranking/season in a long time. Do the razors on the back of the hogs prevent a Heisman hopeful carry all of the pressure? You think so. You’ve got the whole package this year. This is the new Arkansas v BAMA game… But now you’re cheering for BAMA to win ( against Ole Miss).

  McNeese State(who?) at LSU (10)

  *Probably scheduled years ago to give LSU a mid season boost because let’s face it, no one thought LSU was going to be undefeated this far into the season this year. Not even Lucky-Les.

  LSU Fan: You are following suit and making deals with the devil that every other SEC team loses, especially Auburn, South Carolina and Alabama. Florida, you actually want to win now. I know, it’s crazy, but each team is selfish until we all gather and chant S-E-C …

  McNeese State Fan: You’re just glad your school’s name was finally posted on espn.com

  South Carolina (10) at Kentucky (basketball rankings don’t come out until later)

  South Carolina Fan: The Cocks are fired up and they need to be. Kentucky almost tasted victory last week against USC rival (and victor) Auburn and they are itching for more. Alas, Spurrier has his boys right where they need to be—playing a basketball team coming off his biggest win with South Carolina. South Carolina needs Alabama AND Auburn to keep winning—ultimately one of them will lose in the Iron Bowl and South Carolina wants to be the next best thing.

  Kentucky Fan: You’re hoping your Wildcats are still hungry for a win on the gridiron and not just at the racetrack before the game. It’s time to let go of the wins over cardinals and hill topers, these Cocks and the SEC play real football. Focus on football for 6 more weeks, I promise basketball season is coming and the bad dream will soon be over. Oh, and by the way, you need Ole Miss to win out to help you. Sorry, Charlie Cats.

  Mississippi State at Florida (22)

  Mississippi State Fan: You can taste a huge SEC victory. But this is more than the players on the field, this is Mullen v Meyer. Coach Mullen, as nice of a guy that he is, is going to have to pull out all the stops to prove to his mentor ( Mullen coached with Meyer at Bowling Green and Florida) that he was taught well. Beware bulldogs, they don’t bite, they chomp. You need to cheer for yourselves… !!

  Mississippi (Ha!) at Alabama (8):

  BAMA Fan: You’ve never been happier to be playing some preps from the Delta. You are about to get out all of your frustration on kids that go to college just to dress up and party. As a BAMA fan, you can relate to the dress up and party part but your bragging rights come from actually winning on the football field. Do not, under any circumstances, lose this game. For the sake of the prestige of SEC football and any hopes of turning 13 into 14 (EVER), do NOT lose this game. Cheer for Auburn to win so you can have a shot to redeem yourself when you play the #1 SEC team at the Iron Bowl.

  Ole Miss Fan: Let’s face it, you came to tailgate with Alabama. You’ve heard The Quad rivals The Grove and you want to see what it’s all about. This football thing is just to pass the time before all of the pretty Greek co-eds head to Galettes. Go ahead, skip the kool-aid, drink a Yellow Hammer, you know you just watched one of the best football teams in the country and probably sang along during “Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer.”

   

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• The Old Boys and Belles of Florida

  Oct 11, 2010 CATEGORIES: Florida

  We are the boys from old Florida
  F-L-O-R-I-D-A
  Where the girls are the fairest,
  The boys are the squarest
  Of any old state down our way

  We are all strong for old Florida
  Down where the old Gators play
  In all kinds of weather
  We’ll all stick together
  for F-L-O-R-I-D-A

  This traditional Gainesville tune might just be what the Gators need. A song to rally behind that proclaims loyalty despite ruthless weather, read: two consecutive losses to SEC teams. It’s obvious that the fans may still be the boys from OLD Florida but the Gators are not playing like the boys from say, 1996, 2006 or 2008…

  Alas, the team spirit and loyalty was not faded on Saturday in Gainesville, nor was the accurate claim that Florida “girls are the fairest.”

  Graced with vibrant blue and orange school colors, Florida fans are able to don themselves in everything from shorts and a blue t-shirt to an orange dress with blue jewels and either way be belles of the tailgate. And they do.  There seems to be a trend of backpacks for easy accessibility to lip gloss, cameras, team spirit and their drink of choice for the game. The norm is anything and everything blue and orange, original or NCAA trademarked. Some even make dresses out of XL t-shirts or Tebow jerseys. 
  
  Florida girls seem to pull off just about anything with their charm, hospitality and beauty.

  The Swamp lived up to every expectation I had. Ever legendary story was validated. Every claim that Florida does football the best became fact. Old or new boys(and belles) of Florida, the traditions are the same: Why wear white when you can wear orange and blue? Why have one quarterback when you can use three? Why clap when you can chomp?

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• Heartache in Gainesville

  Oct 7, 2010 CATEGORIES: Alabama, Florida, LSU

  There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, The (Florida)moon’s shinin’ bright So turn out the light, and we’ll get it( the rankings) right. There’s gonna be a heartache tonight, a Heartache tonight I know

  When the Eagle’s hit, Heartache Tonight, came on the radio, I couldn’t help but think about the heartache that’s going to ensue come Saturday night at the Swamp. For somebody.

  Both former powerhouse teams are in the top 25 (LSU #12, FL #14) and both teams are in dire need of a big SEC win.

  After a silencing loss to Alabama last week in Tuscaloosa, Florida is counting on the support from The Swamp to carry them to a victory on their home field.

  LSU on the other hand, is looking for revenge from last year’s loss to Urban’s boys of Old Florida. Can LSU actually win the game or are they going to have to wait for the Gators to lose the game?

  LSU and FL are both looking for an SEC W. Both teams are looking for redemption. Both teams are looking to avoid heartache.

  But the Eagles had it right, either way, there’s going to be heartache on Saturday.

  Stay tuned next week when I feature the Gridiron Belle of Saturday’s tailgate in Gainesville!

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• In Summary

  Oct 5, 2010 CATEGORIES: Alabama, Florida

  Christie: Y’all (Bama fans) need a hand signal like they have the Gator chomp.

  Bama fan: (With incredulous eyes) We do… (holds up pointer finger signaling #1).

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• Practice Makes Perfect

  Oct 4, 2010 CATEGORIES: Alabama, Florida

  A Gator fan once told me, “pretend like you’ve been here before.” I had no idea Nick Saban and the BAMA Nation overheard.

  Most of us interested in college football were holding our breath before Saturday’s match up between Alabama and Florida. Most of us except the Crimson Tide.

  At Bear Trap, a local watering hole, on Friday night, the excitement of the co-ed’s was relatively calm. They portrayed the unity of a platoon going into battle during “Sweet Home Alabama” but exerted the calm and collected qualities of… well… an undefeated team. While enjoying daddy-sponsored-beers and designer wardrobes the importance of a marathon day on The Quad, an early arrival to the stadium and the gravity of matching up against Urban and his boys from old Florida did not go overlooked.

  Alas, preparing for game day is old hat for BAMA fans. They’ve done this before. They live this.

  The composure of the Tide faithful transpired to the next day on The Quad for pre-game festivities. There was a sense of tranquility that hovered over the beautifully decorated tables of gridiron grub and kin folk sharing tales. It appeared to be another day in paradise. Another Saturday with 100,000 of their closest friends. Another Saturday doing what they do best—tailgating, looking pretty and winning football games.

  Bryant-Denny stadium was another display of a well oiled winning machine. This time, the energy was contagious, the excitement uncontainable, the eruptions of cheers as loud as the B-52 flyover. Crimson and white shakers accompanied the beat of every cheer, fight song and Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer—which, only happens when the Tide wins. Which is why not a single Alabama fan left before singing the sacred victory song in perfect harmony.

  Soundly beating the Gators seemed like another day at practice for the Tide.

  Apparently, practice makes perfect. Roll Tide Roll.

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